Array of Feelings

So, today is my last day of class here at BYU! Interesting experience. Honestly it feels like any other normal day of class, and soon the stress and worry over finals will be upon me full throttle. Last night, my friend Mary and I came up on campus and looked out over the valley, at the beautiful blossoms on the trees, and at the beautiful campus where I've spent a majority of my time the past two years.
I realize that I'm going to miss going to school here. It is such a unique place to gain an education. It's clean, friendly and academically excellent. Having attended BYU-Hawaii as well, I see how these Universities have special missions and provide such great opportunities for us as youth of the Church.
Today I will write about my blogging experience thus far for my final in my Book of Mormon class. It has been excellent to write periodically about what is on my mind, and points of view and principles that I gain as I live and try to hold firm to the iron rod.
Last night I started over in my reading of the Book of Mormon. I saw in chapter one of 1st Nephi what I thought to be a contradiction in the feelings Lehi had because of his vision.
He talks of seeing many of the calamities that will come upon Jerusalem because of their iniquity if they don't repent. "and because of the things which he saw and heard he did quake and tremble exceedingly." Then it goes on to explain that he reads and sees other "great and marvelous things", after which he rejoices and gives praise to God. If you read this too fast, you could conclude that he was happy and rejoicing that Jerusalem would be destroyed. Such isn't the case. "Thy power, and goodness, and mercy are over all the inhabitants of the earth; and, because thou art merciful, thou wilt not suffer those who come unto thee that they shall perish!" is what Lehi says. WHY?? Why is it that he rejoiced and praised God after seeing and learning that the city he lived in and friends he knew and loved would be destroyed??
Because the Savior stood before him and "gave unto him a book, and bade him that he should read." The word of God testifies of Christ, and His divine mission which in turn gives hope and enables us to rejoice. I dare say that we as a people need such hope and joy! Why not go to the books that teach us what we need to do so??
Another quick observation about the Lehi as a man: "as he went forth prayed unto the Lord, yea, even with all his heart, in behalf of his people."
When was the last time you prayed for this country and the people that live in it?? I did last night for the first time. It was a powerful experience!

Apostles of the Lord

This last weekend was one of spiritual strengthening and enlightenment. I know that Heavenly Father has spoken to us through his chosen servants. I am grateful that in our modern age, we have apostles. These men are called of God, and chosen to bear special witness of Jesus Christ. I testify that they are so very needed in a time when secular thinking and disbelief are so very common in our society. Their words offer peace, confidence and surety in an unsteady and difficult world.
One such apostle is a man by the name of Richard G. Scott. I've come to love and appreciate him through the years, and admire his life's mission and work. He has a special, sincere love for people that is rarely seen. I met him while I was a missionary in the MTC. He stayed after giving his talk and shook each missionaries hand. I recall looking into his eyes and seeing the light of Christ burning so very brightly!! I knew that he has had experiences to give him the special witness he bears. He teaches of the importance of listening to and then following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. He teaches with power and authority how to do so.
I'm especially grateful for the message that he shared this last conference, and how he opened up to so many people and shared tender memories with us. He did so via inspiration, and his message touched my family very deeply. He spoke of losing 2 little children, and even his wife now later in life. He spoke of not asking why, but rather trusting that God knows what's best for us as his children. This really affected our family because of what my sister went through last summer losing their first little boy.
God be thanked for these special witnesses!

Until after....

Uncertainty is a fact of life. It's been interesting to experience the feelings of anxiety and wonder about the future that I've had lately. I'm graduating from BYU in 20 days. I've yet to resolve the following in my life. Where will I go for my AuD program this fall? Where will I work this summer? Where will I move to? How will I pay for school, housing, food etc.?
Uncertainty as a part of our lives impels us to believe more firmly in He who is the rock of certainty and peace: Jesus Christ. In Ether 12:6 we read: "ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith". I've found this to be how life works. We are tested, stressed and must prove our faith until it seems like we can't go any further, and then we are given a witness, and guidance as to where we'll go or what we'll do.
I know that this weekend of general conference will be very special. It can be that way if we make it that way. The effort and desire we put into learning from the prophets of God, is a large determinant of what we'll get out of it.
I'm grateful that there are prophets in the land once again. I know that Heavenly Father hasn't given up on us. I feel His love and concern when I hear these good men speak.
May we all enjoy our test of faith, and stand ready to see the hand of the Lord work miracles in our lives. May we be guided and inspired this weekend is my prayer.